This has been a reflective week for me, can you tell? Imma just indulge in my thoughts for a bit…

Sometimes (often times for me) recipes don’t go as they are intended. In my sort of sketch cooking past and present (I won’t ever claim to be a good cook!) and in some baking instances, I have blamed the recipes themselves for the crap end products. It turns out, it was I who read the recipe wrong or took a misstep during the process. I only needed to pay more attention to the content of the recipe, instead of speeding through it or cutting corners to get a final end prize. [In the above picture, I used melted butter instead of room temperature – novice mistake. I am what’s called a “butter and oil expert” now, having learned from my mistake.]

bakingfail(not my baking, but might as well be some days!)

mixerfail(not my Grandmother, but isn’t she adorable??)

Anyways, the same can be said for parenthood. At least in my case. So often, I place more emphasis on how my kids should act (and I still do and will always believe old fashioned manners and overall good behavior are vastly important, however, I’m trying to realize they are just pieces that make up a well-rounded child), instead of the contents of their heart. In chit-chatting with a few good friends lately, one of them said this to me about her own child and it really struck a chord with me. And as I sit here during my boys’ nap time, drinking their juice boxes and eating their snacks (when I should be sleeping), I realize I need to tweak my overall approach to parenting.

No part of me is perfect…as a person or as a Mother. Not even as a friend, daughter or sister or wife. The list goes on and on. So I can admit it…I have had a few off weeks (months maybe??) as a Mommy. I *think* it has something to do with having a 3 year old, who both needs and wants me and dislikes everything I do in the same millisecond and a cray cray one year old who scales my walls and hangs from just about everything.  Just a hunch.  Bigs has been in both the most wonderful and the most infuriating and exasperating stages of his life. At almost three and a half, he is able to verbalize everything (and boy, does he ever!), but doesn’t know how to balance his logic for knowing he needs to do as he’s told and his want for exerting his independence. I find myself yelling, pleading, crocodile tears-ing for him to listen to me, and on the first time I say it. But now, instead of harping on that and getting on his case for everything, I am going to take a step back on the nagging and try to focus more on his heart. And instead of using Bible verses to show I’m in the right (Colossians 3:20*), I’m going to do right by the blessing of a job God’s gifted me (Proverbs 22:6**) and be less angry at situations like the pumpkin patch experience earlier in the week (and other instances). Because, after all, isn’t our kind-hearted God rich in love and slow to anger? Isn’t He so wonderfully patient with me, who constantly is testing Him? Doesn’t He want us to walk in His path? Is that not what He intends on us doing (much like the recipe writer’s intend on us reading the whole thing through)? Luckily for us, He is also incredibly forgiving and doesn’t walk away from me when I’ve had a “Mommy Fail” day…which is often.

panera(The perfect chocolate chip cookies

with the most perfect little cookie thief hands of a then-two-year-old Bigs)

(*Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.  Colossians 3:20)

(**Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it. Proverbs 22:6)

Big empathetic, understanding hugs!