Mamas, you are enough. Let that sink in for a bit. You. Are. Enough. And you are loved. I know you don’t hear that often enough. I know you don’t feel that often enough. I’m not sure I do. “They” always say that motherhood is a thankless job. On the surface, that’s seemingly true. You know. Unless you teach your child to say “thank you” (which we all try) and they actually, literally do say that at every turn, you aren’t going to be getting enough thanks for the time and effort you put into your child.
But alas, Motherhood is indeed a thank-filled, love-filled job.
With Motherhood, and life at this stage, it’s about the little things, the little triumphs.
Every day that comes and goes without bloodshed, I consider a triumph. Every day that comes and goes without WWIII tantrums, broken bones, or human kid poop in my yard, I consider a triumph. When I successfully feed my kids dinner, and help them get their homework done, it’s a triumph. My days are not filled with gourmet meals, Southern Living-esque family and bedrooms,or pristine kids (try as I might, with my ever-present stain stick). My days are filled with two very dirty, loud, rambunctious boys. Boys who sound like water buffalo, running in my also very dirty house.
Every time they wrap their sweaty arms around me and press their red, sweaty cheeks against mine, and squeeze me in a quick snuggle, I feel their thanks. Their love.
Every time my oldest son tells me that he loves me “to the moon”, I feel his thanks. His love.
Every time I am met with happy grins after playing in the park, I feel their thanks. Their love.
Every time my youngest son burrows his sweet curly head in my neck, I feel his thanks. His love.
Sometimes, it isn’t about the verbal “thank yous”, but more about the ways your children show you their thanks with their uninhibited and genuine emotions.
Happiest Mother’s Day, World’s Okay-est Moms!
“Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.” – Proverbs 31:29
This Sunday is Mother’s Day. Just in case you didn’t know. If you didn’t, then you haven’t seen the rows and rows of flowery, pink, and sometimes sparkly cards lining every store you go into. You haven’t seen the chocolate boxes, the teddy bears, the sale racks of clothing someone thinks a mother somewhere would like to wear.
This is a day where many of you church-goers get to stand up with pride, after your Pastor encourages applause. This is a day where you get pampered, gifted, dined, and perhaps wined.
But for some, this is a day that serves as a fresh, constant reminder for a want, and an absence, for children, or for a loss. A day which brings a heaviness.
For the Mothers in their Hearts that have struggled, who have wrestled with the despair, the unfairness, the questioning of God’s plan for your life – you are not forgotten. You are not alone. You are as important, on this day, and every day.
For the Mothers who have had losses, in any stage – you are not forgotten. You are not alone. You are important, on this day, and every day.
For the Mothers who wait patiently for their adoptive children to be born and to be paired with them – you are not forgotten. You are not alone. You are important, on this day, and every day.
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” – Jeremiah 29:11
Y’all, I am a hot mess. Literally. I am hot all the time (if you know me in ‘real life’, you know) and I am literal mess. I’ve either got someone’s food smeared on me or someone’s pee saturating my clothes. Like everyday. And I re-wear clothes. Like all week long. The same clothes. It’s gross. I’m gross. And when I go to bed at night, I haven’t always had a #Mommywin day. Some days are really hard. Most days, actually. But I learn from them. Mostly.
I’ve learned a LOT in my almost four and a half years of being a Mommy. Probably more in that time than all the rest of my life put together. And I’m still learning. I don’t think one stops learning.
I’ve learned that not every day is perfect. That I’m not perfect. And my kids aren’t either. Although fearfully and wonderfully made, they are professional mistake makers. That’s what they do. They will learn. And continue to mess up. Just like me. I, too, am fearfully and wonderfully made, and I am messing up daily.
And that’s okay. I’m learning that it’s okay to mess up. Kids, in general, are incredibly forgiving. When I have a bad day, we start over in the morning. While that is hard when you are still wounded by things they say and do, it is a blessing when you’ve had a crummy day as a parent. Something we should remember and practice, ourselves. Likewise, God’s mercies are new each morning. Remember, He made us out of dust. He wants to love and protect what He’s carefully made. He, too, lets us start new.
“Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each morning.” – Lamentations 3:23
I’ve learned the value of fellow Mommy friends. During my first year as a parent, I was pretty isolated. I didn’t know many other Moms nor did I venture out much. Target was my outing of choice (still is HA!). When my Bigs was almost one, I joined a kids’ gym, and met my first group of Mom friends. It changed my whole life. It took me out of my comfort zone. I finally had people that understood my daily struggle! Then I joined a Mom group in my church and my friend groups, faith, and fellowship grew even more. I am constantly meeting new friends through both of these groups and am so blessed by each Mom that I meet. Each one has something new to teach me. And I am hungry to learn. To soak up those bits of knowledge that have been imparted to me.
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” – Proverbs 27:17
I’ve learned that it’s okay to let your child fail sometimes. It’s so hard, as a parent, to sit back and watch your child hurt. And it’s equally hard, as an extremely Type A personality, to watch my child do something “wrong”. I’m learning that it might only be “wrong” to me. My boys have taught me (without trying) that there are more solutions and different ways of looking at things.
“Train child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not turn from it.” – Proverbs 22:6
I’ve learned the value of community. Accepting the help or advice from my fellow parents has been such a valuable lesson for me. Surrounding my children with strong and faithful families has not only strengthened my own faith, but my children’s (without them knowing).
“Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.” – 1 John 4:11
“How good and pleasant it is when God’s people live together in unity!” – Psalm 133:1
I am learning patience. Apparently, I was not born with it and didn’t develop it very well, despite thinking that I wasn’t THAT much of an impatient person, prior to having children. It’s a struggle, y’all. Oh, the struggle!
“Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.” – Ephesians 4:2
“Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.” – Romans 12:12
“Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.” – Galatians 6:9
I am learning to let go. There are so many things that I could hold on to, that just don’t need be be held on to. And to let go of the control I keep trying to have over all the details of my life. My God is huge, my God is awesome, and my God is in control.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” – Proverbs 3:5-6
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” – Jeremiah 29:11
As always, I am a HUGE work in progress. Every day, in some way, I’m learning something new, about myself, about Motherhood, and I’m asking forgiveness for my mess-ups, which are frequent. I am not perfect, nor do I want to be. I just want to be the Mom God made me to be.